Private Eye

New Year’s Eve was as boring as heaven
I watched flies fuck on channel 11
There was no one to kiss, there was nothing to drink
Except some old rotten milk someone left in the sink
And there’s no ring, no ring on the phone any more
There’s no reason to call I passed out on the floor
Smoked myself stupid and drank my insides raisin dry


Wiping his face with his hands, Ianto Jones groaned, resting his back against the plush padding of his chair gazing aimlessly out the glass panel door of the tourist information. He was closing onto the conclusion that the rift took distaste towards poorer weather conditions, with the week had been somewhat quiet but naturally there was the occasional exception, Weevils were hardly a finicky race.

Owen had traipsed through earlier, briefly checking upon archivists bandaged shoulder while voicing more than a few colourful and expansive comments, all to which revolved around his intentions towards Jack, should he dare to question his motives again. He would, he enjoyed getting a rise from the Londoner.

“Owen? Jacks asked us to get a move on” Toshiko’s meek voice sounded over shadowed as she appeared from behind the secret entrance, a grimaced expression pulled at her flawless features as she addressed the exasperated doctor. “We should… erm –” her hand wavered slightly towards the door, quickly returning to her coat pocket as she heard the abrupt breath.

“I'm already having one hell of a day and now he’s got me searching the bay for some possible hostile alien-tech in the pissing rain… brilliant, come on Tosh.”

The joys of field work, Ianto thought to himself. A daily battle of protecting the world while taking overly cautious steps to preserve their own arses. Adrenaline running wild through their veins like a fixed drug, reminding them of the fact that each breath could, in fact, be their last. That was something he didn’t envy, worry was already his mistress and it was something he did far more than he was willing to openly express.  

Breaking from his thoughts he caught Tosh’s subtle wave and comforting, mouthed, words ‘take it easy’ before disappearing into the twilight gloom. The closed sign momentarily rocking against the glass, gradually easing to a holt.

It came as no surprise when Gwen had again requested some leave of absence, something to do with Rhys back, giving way and he was having difficulty performing everyday tasks such as using the remote for the intense sport of channel hoping. Ianto did like his female confrère, he enjoyed her company and the fun loving vibe she carried around with her like a shadow, though it was her manipulative streak that often got his back up. Her flawless ability to wrap the infamous Captain Harkness around her little finger.

Speaking of said captain, Jack was left skulking between the open hub floor and his office, occupying himself with another rift rejected device that had yet to be catalogued. His only lapse in attention was upon noting the archivists management of the coffee machine. The tension heightening as he casually loitered closer. Feeling the hairs on his neck to stand on end it took only a glance to comprehend the littered queries and unspoken confessions.

“Need any help?” The charismatic smile failed to coax a reaction instead the faint rise of his chin, directed attention back to his injured joint.

“I’ll be fine sir, Owen assured me it was nothing more than a minor flesh wound.”

“So, nothing you need kissing better?”

Ianto sternly shook his head, tightly pursing his lips, that was ‘typical’ Jack bloody Harkness.

Things remained strained between the pair, despite the Welshman’s return to active duty, following a three week 'unpaid’ absence. Jack appeared to show little remorse while Ianto continued with his silent struggle. Coffee orders had remained consistent making it easier to fall back into routine while any potential field work now came with the added restriction that he was remained under strict observation.

Finding peace in the tourist office, a silence clung tightly to the walls, resembling that of a predictor in waiting, feeding greedily upon embedded feelings of loss, regret … Ianto stared out towards the same four walls, overlooking the surveillance cameras and giving into his OCD needs by organising and reorganising lingering brochures and leaflets.

A sudden sharp hiss spilt from his lips, scurrying past clenched teeth, as a bead of crimson fell, coated the printed italic font of the now, scattered papers. Already feeling dejected, his following motions admittedly resembled that of a child; stooping lower in his chair to lash out against the sturdy wooden frame and incidentally knocking something free.

“Oh shi – what the?” It went without thought, as his plush lips instinctively surrounded the freshly injured digit, gently sucking the flesh while the tip of his tongue moved to apply a bearable and almost comforting pressure, soothing the neat incision. He glanced scrupulously, looking for signs of damage.

It was from the brief inspection that his attention was drawn towards to a small grey gadget with a circular centre, seeming wrapped within a set of standard issue earphones resting casually beside his shoe.

“My iPod shuffle! I’d wondered where it got to.” Shifting his chair back, picking up the estranged device, Ianto nostalgically teased it between his fingers, recalling the items origin. He was sure he’d last seen it during a sensitive relocation case, a pretty young lass called Aimee or Glitch as she preferred to be called had attracted the attention of the hubs alarm system due to an unusual mutation. The team were subtly reminded certain abnormalities had the ability to trip up the system despite Toshiko’s well engineered tech.

He liked her, despite the unusual differences and found some comfort in the time they spent together, she’d often teased with him about his taste in music, going as far as creating a playlist on YouTube of bands he needed to look into, even added a few songs to the music device nestled within his hand.

She and Jack argued like cat and dog though you could tell from his expression he enjoyed every moment. Now staring at what remained of the memory he wondered how she was getting on.

Closing his eyes Ianto allowed his thoughts to wonder freely, again. Warming to the melodic ballads from artists such as Bon Jovi and Journey, their voices filling the miniature speakers evoking a sense of calm. That was until the opening of an unfamiliar track caused his brow to crease.

'I dragged this lake looking for corpses
Dusted for prints, pried up the floorboards
Pieces of planes and black box recorders
Don’t lie (don’t lie)

And I’ve been preoccupied with these sick, sick senses
That sense DNA on barbed wire fences
Maybe someday I’ll find me a suspect
That has no alibi’

It appeared strange just how easily it was to get lost within the simplicity of the bass allowing the unfamiliar words to offer ground work, inspiring his imagination. Tapping his fingers unceremoniously against the desk, his thoughts guided him back to his childhood watching dusty black and white, detective films with his dad.

Vivid thoughts seemed to transform the compact office space, forming resemblance to that of the low budget surrounding he’d often fantasised about. The vocals filled in the narrative and in sense, applied some back history. He figured the scene would finish, revealing an evident choice of a leading love interest … Who else, but his beloved Lisa, the woman he’d willingly sacrificed everything for and would again. That promised to be true until a perfectly timed silhouette, cascaded across the glass seated within the door frame.

“J-Jack?!?”

He still held resentment towards him, held belief he’d every right to, after all it was through his thoughtless act everything crumbled around him but, there was something else, something buried … Feeling his mouth turn dry, Ianto shuddered from a chill of trepidation sweeping furiously down his spine, forcing him to adjust his position.

As the fantasy continued to play out, sensing familiarity in the confident demeanour; now striding through the open door; snap shot memories, took charge, highlighting his previously concealed thoughts and over contemplated hidden motives relating back to the consequential night. The clear sensation of his captains lips pressing firmly against his own, the chaste brush of his moist warm tongue against his lower lip. It was a natural reaction to feel the hairs on his back of his neck to stand to attention but the heat, stirring within his already tight pants, triggered a different mix of emotions.

A rush of colour moved over his soft features, while his glance noticeably traced the strong arms, folded tightly across a broad chest. Jack was everything he wanted while still being everything he wanted to get away from.

“Ianto?”

His eyes widened as he heard his name spill from the tantalising lips, watching helplessly as his illusion took control; effortlessly shifting closer. He could feel, spirited fingers taunted his bicep, stopping briefly to rest upon his shoulder. “Ianto?” there was that warmth breath, rushing against his cheek, enticing a moan to creep past his tightened jaw.

And there it was, as quick as his world was created it was washed away, the sound of the rain rapping against the tourist entrance seeping back to his given reality.

“Ianto?”

“Huh?” watching his captain move back to rest against the wooden station, he caught the shine of earpiece wavering between his fingers, verifying that some of his vision remained true. “Oh erm, another coffee sir?”

“Are you okay?” the look of concern painted Jacks features, as he looked over his companion.

“All the better for being back sir” He knew he wasn’t convincing anyone; himself included, yet as his hands dropped coincidently to his lap, he took note of the slight smirk pulling at the others lips coinciding with an agreeable nod.

“Coffee is an affirmative and I’d like to see you in my office in five … I’ve still your disciplinary forms for you to sign as well as your ‘returning back to work’ discussion.”

Taking a moment to compose his self, Ianto looked on as Jack patted his shoulder leaving without carching the audible pained groan. The small music device had progressed now playing more formidable artists before being switched off and the ear attachments tidily rewrapped.


Things were already confusing between the pair but now they had reached a whole new level.